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Lisa G. O'Brien

My path is dark

My path is dark

by Lisa Co-Active Coach

Posted on August 26, 2015 at 10:28 AM

Some days I just can’t see the road ahead of me. I can’t see which way to go, whether to wait or press on, if it’s time to rest or work. I know I am not alone. I know you have days like that too.

For me, those are the moments I need deep connection. I need souls that can just be with me in those moments…without advice, counsel, antidotes, cliches, or even their own brand of human wisdom. I just desire to be connected in that place.

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I can’t help but think of Job during those moments of my own life. When there are things happening in my life that don’t make sense, but somehow my spirit knows God is in it. Even when I can’t see Him, understand Him, or even feel Him. I think of Job and his own deep desire for connection in the mysterious movement of God in his life.

His story can be found in the book of Job in the Old Testament. He experiences tragic and disastrous loss, beyond anything anyone can understand, explain, or even comfort. In the beginning of the book, his friends respond to his grief so beautifully by sitting with him in silence for 7 days. And then, those seven days of silence turn into a messy, imperfect, noisy space of disconnection.

Oh, that we would learn to sit with those we love in silence. I am so far from even coming close to hitting that target. Our noisy world has created a narrative that says you can’t connect in silence and that is SO WRONG! I think it is in silence that we experience connection with God and others in deeply unexplainable ways!

His friends and family start to get uncomfortable with his grief, pain, doubt, and faith. They stop sitting with him, they stop being silent, and they stop trusting God to do His work in Job. They start “helping” God bring transformation to Job in very unhelpful ways.

My heart hurts as I read his story. Because I have been in Job’s shoes. I’ve stood in his shoes when my life was a disaster and yet somehow I knew God was in it, and everyone around me had an opinion, advice, theories, encouragement, and counsel that made me hurt more. I’ve also been in his friend’s shoes. I’ve stood in the shoes of trying to “help” other people through difficult seasons and said “helpful” things when I should have just sat with them in silence and let God do His work, in His way.

I feel connected to Job today, on this day when I can’t see the road ahead. Job said it this way in Chapter 18, verse 8:

He has blocked my ways so I cannot pass; He has shrouded my paths in darkness.

I don’t know why there are some seasons of our lives where the road ahead is wide, easy, and brightly lit. I don’t know why there are some seasons of our lives where the road ahead is blocked, confusing, and shrouded in darkness. I know that God is in both of those experiences with love, grace, and good intention. I know that sometimes all we really need in those moments is connection.

It’s good for us to know that we are not alone in our mysterious experiences when God doesn’t make sense. We don’t want someone else to try to make sense of God for us, that’s not helpful. We just want to know that there are others who have walked roads that don’t make sense and they found their way forward.

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