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Lisa G. O'Brien

Tirade of Tears

Tirade of Tears

by Lisa Co-Active Coach

Posted on June 02, 2015 at 14:00 PM

Have you ever just had a season where you were invaded by a tirade of tears? Maybe it was during a transition, or a loss, or maybe even a success. You know one of those seasons where tears pour from your eyes without explanation?

Yeah, I’m in one of those seasons right now. My heart is soft and tender. My eyes are wet with tears. I can’t really explain it and don’t feel I have to. All I know is that my world has been invaded by a tirade of tears.

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When I let myself step back from life for a minute and look on with observational eyes, I notice some things…

I notice the places in me that are still afraid. Afraid of so much. Afraid of being seen, being known, being found out, being celebrated, being honored, being worthless, and my list could go on. There are still places in me that experience deep insecurity. Those places seem to be flooded with tears right now.

I notice the places in me that are still resistant. Resistant of so much. Resistant to God, to people, to change, to learning, to growth, to tenderness, and to tears. There are places deep inside of me that still experience strong and persistent resistance. Those places seem to be flooded with the tirade of tears that have surprisingly invaded my life.

I notice the places in me that are confused. Confused about so much. Confused about faith, about love, about future, about present, about past, about life, about purpose, and about tears. There are deep cavernous places inside that wander in the darkness of confusion and don’t know which way to go. Those places are filling fast with the onset of tears.

I used to judge tears as being bad. I used to judge them as a sign of weakness. I’m choosing to allow them without judgement right now. I’m choosing to let them be a transformative tool in the hand of my benevolent and gracious God.

I recognize that in our culture a woman in tears invites a solution. It implies that “something is wrong.” And yet, in this strange season, I have a strong sense that there is something very right about these tears.

I can’t explain it, but something in me is being cleansed by every mysterious tear that I shed. Something deep inside is being restored and redeemed with every tear that falls to the ground. These tears seem to be a mysterious exchange between God and me that only He understands.

My life has been invaded by a tirade of tears. My heart is soft and tender. There is nothing to be done about me. I don’t need advice, I don’t need analysis, I don’t need solutions, I don’t need correction, and I don’t even need encouragement.

I just need to let the tears invade and see what follows.

What is asking for permission in your life? What needs to be embraced? What’s asking to move without judgement in your life right now?

 


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